Definition Of Success

What is the modern definition of success?

Getting good grades in school.
Getting a good high paying job.
Being smart, attractive and interesting.
Being popular.
Have good relationships with everyone (be it your other half or your family).
High self-confidence.

Is there any more? I bet the list can go on and on.. But these few are just the more classic examples i can think of. And I've been thinking.. If these are the definitions of success, Derek, you're the one of modern world's most terrible failure. Saying such things would just mean that I have very low self-confidence. But if anyone who read this knows me well enough, you have to admit that I have failed most of these points. I really don't know what to say. I don't excel at anything at all. Sometimes, even my parents are ashamed of me.

Such terrible thoughts are best kept as private as possible, but I feel the need to voice out what I'm thinking. So here I am, posting in my second blog.

Maybe I'm just wasting space and resources. Maybe I'm just wasting everybody's time. Maybe I should just run away and rot in a sewer somewhere. Maybe the rest of the world would be happy then.

Blogger's Down

Sianns.. Blogger has a server problem, thus i am unable to update it. So, i shall write my entry here..

Yesterday had this BGR/Sex forum thingy. Boys and girls went to different venue.. I've come to the conclusion that PJ boys are extremely childish, immature and uncouth. For example, at the starting, Dennis Yeo announced that that venue is only for guys.. he asked,"No girls around right?" den this humongous bunch of guys began shouting a person's name very loudly.. Is this proper JC level behaviour? Or is it proper guy behaviour and i'm not normal? I think that kinda behaviour is pri sch-ish and silly. The guys' forum was kinda boring (content-wise) as compared to the girl's forum.. i suppose there really isnt much to talk abt for guys.. and guys don't have much emotional things to talk abt cos we just don't share such stuff? not even in an extremely open forum. i think it's only dennis yeo and the two other teachers who are open.. the students mainly voiced lame questions.. Sportsman's question damn lame.. he said if he found himself in the situation where he's alone with a hot gal, what shld he do. like aint it obvious what he shld do? Don't think dirty man. He shld just behave normally.. i mean, he intend to have sex with a random hot gal he found himself alone with meh? tt's so... promiscuous.. so fucked up. maybe it's just me and my principles? guys out there really find it so hard to control themselves ma? tt's kinda crazy..

after school, there was supposed to b a CPIB outing with my class.. but i ponned it.. no interest in such shit.. esp with a fucked up teacher like mrs chan.. went to Vivo with dear to get her mum's mothers' day prezzie.. shopped for a long time.. finally settled on this rattan handbag thingy.. gao1 xing4 jiu4 hao3. never shopped like that for a long long time le.. legs were damn tired.. hahas.. i think it would have been more confortable if we were in our own clothes instead of sch uni.. felt restricted.. nvm.. i think i'm past that barrier le.. ppl wanna complain, let them complain lo... i'm not in rv anymore.. nobody's going to ask me to sign any dumb breakup pact and call my parents.. then again, not like my parents dunno. "Nanny Nanny Poo Poo" *sticks tongue out at that complaining person* hahas..

i don't like being poor.. cant even buy a decent present. cant even pay for the whole present on my own. felt like such a loser. *slaps self* i can imagine someone telling me, "no money still learn ppl get girlfriend." haiz.. =(

Havent been here for a long long time..decide to post here for the hell of it.. since my blogspot blog is up and running again, i do not need to use this blog as a substitute already.. lols...

National day!

Hmm, didnt do anything especially patriotic on national day. went to pray to grandma, den went shopping.. bought a new wallet! it's "100% PVC" lols... mock leather. "no animals have been harm in the making process" HAHAS.. =) Prelims coming in 10++ days.. i'm only jus starting my revision! AHHHHH.... i mus pia liao. if i work fast, can still complete revision de! hahas...

These few days dun feel like going to school... go there see teachers' black faces, get criticized, get scolded, get more h.w... liddat how can i revise? haiz haiz haiz... have been really down on my luck recently.. dunno y so many teachers pick on me... really wish things went back to how they were b4, when i'm just a nobody who teachers dun notice... =X

Simple Plan : Untitled
I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight
And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain

Chorus:
How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
got nowhere to run
the night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't

How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
got nowhere to run
the night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

I've made my mistakes
got nowhere to run
the night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

[I'm feeling really really tired.. When can i have a really really good sleep?]

Huo Yuan Jia

damn nice fighting scenes man!! hahas... if's terribly violent with quite a fair bit of gore.. No wonder it's rated NC-16. Hahas. Enjoyed the movie. Guess what? i smuggled my sister in too!! hahas... those bobos dun even check ICs very thoroughly... this movie emphasizes on honour, pride, and winning yourself, not ur oponent. =)

hmmx...

i dunno y u kip on not believing what i say dee. i dun break my promise ok... at least i try not to. =X well, u kip on saying that u're not good... i dun mind.... u say ur wound not fully healed right? well i told u tt i'm gonna wait.. dun believe? wait and see. =) well, i hope it's soon...

ps. i dunno how many ppl reads this blog.. i'm hoping it's veh lil. Lolx. anyone who saw this n3, jus pretend tt it's nothing. HAHA. =D

Promotion Day

went to play DOTA with peter and jiajun. Played four rounds. win two, lost two... I find that jiajun improved quite alot.. most of my deaths is he caused de... peter ah peter... mus jiayous worx~ =) enjoyed playing with them, even if i lost... maybe cos Bnet de ppl too pro le. =X

ok, here's the money owning update list.
1) Wayne $52
2) Peter $25.50
3) Shu Teng $6
4) Sister $30
5) Yu Xuan $5
6) Wan Yi $4

ahhh! debts, debts and more debts... =S well, i'll come with it....

today promotion day... scarry... hope i get through.. *cross fingers* hahaz... i tink i can make it de.. i improved since mid-yr... at least tt's wad i think. hahaz.